January 2012
21 posts
Please stop calling my office to tell me how...
Thirty minutes so far.
Can I break my 52 minute record?
Remember when it was the State of the State...
I don’t feel so good.
Nothing says "WINTER HAS FINALLY ARRIVED" like a...
Remember when I lived in Florida? That was fun.
Had no idea I was still logged in to my tumblr...
I need to stop following “artistic nudes” tumblrs.
3 tags
I miss my interns
Says the girl who had to stay three hours late last night to do data entry.
Someone needs to explain how I woke up exhausted...
Related- federal/state holidays are great.
Few things in life feel better than spending the evening on a barstool, catching up with your best friend.
The service this evening had a giant photo of Uncle John with the caption “Where’s the remote?”
I think he would’ve gotten a kick out of it.
The bit I resent most about being an adult is the whole “not burning bridges in the workplace” deal.
There is a situation at work that has been bothering me for months and today I nearly broke down and sent a “Fuck you; I quit” email. The fact that nothing can be done to change this situation frustrates me to no end. I’ve started and deleted a hundred blog posts...
I wonder what my next-door neighbor would say if...
Related- the walls in my bathroom are really thin.
“He contributed to “America’s Best Zoos” and is a dinosaur...”
– Newt Gingrich’s WikiPedia page
“Never in my life did I think I would be strangling a drunken midget at a bar...”
– My interns do and say weird things.
I spent the last four hours watching Food Network...
2 tags
Alex: I feel like... I dunno, I smell bad or something.
Me: ...
Alex: Do you think I should maybe shower or something?
December 2011
18 posts
My dad met a guy who drives a semi and regularly...
I always assumed I was the smartest person in my family, but its nice to finally have proof.
ETA: SUCCESS! I managed to publicly shame my father into doing the right thing! He just called and demanded I take down my facebook post about it and told me he’s not going. I WIN!
I just spent the last hour writing a parody of “Baby Got Back” about Scott Walker.
My job is weird.
ETA: Is it bad that I had a really hard time self-editing? Apparently, you shouldn’t call the governor a “cocksucking prick”.
Things I really need right now: an S Club 7 "Where...
Make this happen.
Remember when I asked to be on-call the day after...
So far no emergencies.
Hopefully I’ll get lucky and just have to deal with press requests.
It will never cease to amaze me that people call our office in the middle of the night and actually get incensed when we don’t answer.
There is no tradition greater than the annual...
Cognac and окачим ftw!
Some days I think my job is actually making me...
1 tag
"So... How should I fold this letter?"
Yes, that is a direct quotation.
Dear people who call our office at 5pm on a Sunday...
Do you really get to be angry when no one picks up?
I ate bear meat today
It was tasty.
indieQueer has been taken over by straight people.
Where else am I supposed to make out with cute, bi-curious girls?
"What do you mean the Pentagon won't do it?"
I’m too hungover to be at work right now.
Seriously debating going back to school next fall...
I think my utter disdain for teenagers would make me an excellent high school English teacher.
November 2011
12 posts
Best voicemail of the morning: "You women are...
Happy Hump Day!
3 tags
I wonder if my next-door neighbor knows I can hear him masturbating through the bathroom wall?
Newsflash: You don't look as good naked as you...
Please stop sending me pictures of your cock.
If I wanted to see it, I’d be taking your pants off.
Just realized I forgot to call my family to wish...
My bad.
Where’s my pie?
3 tags
Who in Milwaukee wants to go to a midnight showing...
Twilight ain’t got SHIT on Muppets fans.
You know you're in Wisconsin when your boss texts...
I guess its venison chili for the office Christmas party.
I was supposed to go into the office today....
No one should have to wear pants on Sundays.
People are literally threatening to "alert the...
You people really need to get lives.